I DON'T KNOW THE RULES

You wouldn't think so, but some things in life scare me. Even if in other areas of life, I am brave. After all, I taught junior high, so.... I am tough as nails, right?

But now I am contemplating a move halfway across the country and I am afraid. The work to be done is scary. We have been in our home for over 30 years. I have stuff. I will have to be brutal and tough as I toss, save, give, and store things.

My biggest fear is losing my friends. I am a bit of an introvert, so I have a few really good friends. Some people have an army of them, but not me. That means I do make friends carefully, but not easily. Here at home, I don't have to put myself out and risk rejection, but from now on I will. Customs and social rules in different parts of the country are very different too. I live in the Pacific Northwest, so those are the rules I know about.

My daughter grew up here, but has become and East Coastie. I figured out that one way you can tell where someone is from is by their response to the baristas in Starbucks. My daughter and her husband were here visiting and they bought coffee on the way home from an errand. My son-in-law was upset by the treatment he received. “Why do they have to keep talking to me? I don't want to tell them how my day was!” They are now East Coasties, no question. In the East, you mind your own business and don't waste someone's time unnecessarily.

I, however live in the Pacific Northwest. We smile, share a few words. Nod. Make eye contact. We all know the rules in our hometowns.

I visited my new home-town and I had errands in three different stores. Women I did not know smiled broadly and made direct eye-contact—for no reason. I was actually disturbed, thinking to myself, “Why is she smiling at me? She doesn't know me!!?!” And then I realized, new place, new people. I don't know the rules and I should stop scowling at strangers. I'm hoping I can link with some of those smiling women and make friends. But doing that is still stressful.

And what does stress do? Stress makes me eat. I like to cook and I do enjoy my own cooking. Far too much, I think. I have been eating a lot. I am trying to minimize the damage of my moving stress.

Lately, I have been in the process of figuring out how to trade not-very-healthy comfort meals for less damaging comfort meals. Before, when I was stressed, I would make home-made cinnamon rolls or chicken pot-pie with thick biscuit crust. Carbs, crunch, meat, warm... happy foods.

One comfort food trade that works for me is a type of salad. I take rice and add cooked taco meat over it. I add salsa, some sour cream, then chopped up spinach/onion/tomato mix. Then I sprinkle a few crushed taco chips and add some ranch. It makes a comfort-salad, if there is such a thing.

We each have to find ways to comfort ourselves when we are stressed and afraid. What helps is to find out what comforts each of us personally and find food ways to comfort ourselves without doing too much damage from overeating. Trying to follow some not-eating regime while ignoring stress simply doesn't work. Plan. Think. Follow through.

Don't be afraid......